They shoot horses, don’t they?
So, it transpires that Tesco’s beef burgers contain horse meat. People are outraged. It has made the national news. Tesco has apologised. There’s going to be an investigation. The Government might make...
View ArticleI wish my plot was as fertile as Beeny!
For those who are unaware of the lovely Sarah Beeny, allow me to explain. Sarah, or Beeny as she prefers to be called (okay, I made that bit up) has hosted a plethora of DIY shows, typically revolving...
View ArticleSowing seeds in manure: what would Titchmarsh say?
You can’t sow seeds in manure. The experts say you can’t, so you can’t. Okay? Look, the likes of Titchmarsh, Fowler and Don didn’t just repeat what they’d heard, did they? They’re experts, so they’ve...
View ArticleHay and Pooh! Preparing for 2014!
Like a young boy who has just seen his next door neighbour getting changed through a chink in the curtain, I’m up for it. I’m raging and ready to go. I’m chomping at the bit. I’m straining at the...
View ArticleTalking Shit
In the world of life and stuff, there are many things that get people excited like sex and money and cake and beer. In the world of gardening, people get excited by roses and peas and bumble bees. In...
View ArticleDrowning in Manure
All of us have a history about how we came to gardening. Mine is probably a little more abstract than most. It involves forced labour, mental torture, conditions akin to those who remember the Year...
View ArticleJust like starting over
So, what’s been happening on the Five Acres of Idiocy? Let me tell you. I’ll keep it short and sweet. It will be, literally, succinct. You won’t get dragged in to a detailed and analytic monologue...
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